[She's not sure what makes her check, whether it's the way she can't go back to sleep, or the way the room's started to spin, or the fact that she feels as if all the warmth is leeching from her bones minute by minute. But she checks the lists.
Because as long as his name is--
And she can't breathe. She can't. Because he's not there anymore. His name isn't there and he's not going to call. Ril hangs there, frozen in horror, staring at the screen.
Everything they'd done in Asgard, every touch, every moment, everything they ever were hit her like a wave. The first time she touched him, his lips on hers as they danced home from the masquerade, the way she'd wanted him every second of every day to the moment she'd taken all of his pain from him before they'd both died. And she'd been at peace then, knowing she'd loved him.
Knowing she'd always love him.
And he was gone.
It wasn't a sound anyone should hear. It didn't make it all the way out, caught between a cry and a rattle of breath as her throat closed. He's not going to call, Braxiatel, she said, only the words didn't come. She was Antedan, she was a Pilot, and her anchor, the man she loved, the man who had taught her how to fly without wings was gone.
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Date: 2014-04-30 10:53 pm (UTC)Because as long as his name is--
And she can't breathe. She can't. Because he's not there anymore. His name isn't there and he's not going to call. Ril hangs there, frozen in horror, staring at the screen.
Everything they'd done in Asgard, every touch, every moment, everything they ever were hit her like a wave. The first time she touched him, his lips on hers as they danced home from the masquerade, the way she'd wanted him every second of every day to the moment she'd taken all of his pain from him before they'd both died. And she'd been at peace then, knowing she'd loved him.
Knowing she'd always love him.
And he was gone.
It wasn't a sound anyone should hear. It didn't make it all the way out, caught between a cry and a rattle of breath as her throat closed. He's not going to call, Braxiatel, she said, only the words didn't come. She was Antedan, she was a Pilot, and her anchor, the man she loved, the man who had taught her how to fly without wings was gone.
He was gone and she couldn't follow him.]